Tuesday, October 11, 2011

October...

Autumn... Rainy days. Cloudy days. Nostalgia. Melancholia... Maybe.
Everybody seems to act strange on these days. You can feel the winter coming. There's no more dust in the air. What to do when you feel like don't wanna leave the bed heat? What do we do during autumn?

Spring is the time when we want to go outside, anywhere, just to feel the Sun getting hotter every day. We love to watch the flowers bloom and the trees getting greener. We love to hear the little birds happy songs. We just love to see that life is coming back. It gives us new energies, bigger appetite for living. We hide away our winter clothes and we are looking forward to Summer.
Summer Holidays. Sea. Mountains full of life, covered in the most beautiful green blanket of forests. We enjoy walks in the park or over the seashore. We go out even more. Bars, clubs, you name it! Dancing or just showing off, summer is the best time for everything. Holidays. Sleepless nights.
Autumn? A cold wake up to Reality. Time for holidays is over. Work. School. Rain. Colder and colder every day. Memories. Killing life.We don't really have a lot of pleasure for anything...

I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that I was born in October, but I absolutely love it. If it's raining and it's cold... I love to take a cup of hot tea or coffee, get cozy in front of my computer with a blanket wrapped around me, light up some candles and some incense sticks... My kitty in my lap purring. Good music.Memories. Just love to let myself get lost in memories and unforgettable moments. I just know that at the right moment I will want to start to write.
I love to get cozy into the arms of that someone... Watch a good movie and enjoy a good glass of wine. Listen to the rain knocking in the bedroom windows, being exhausted by love. Talk... Fall asleep into those arms and the sound of beating heart.
Sometimes Sun shines in the autumn. Take a walk in the park. Look and contemplate at the enormous diversity of colors. I love to hear and feel the oak leaves rustling under my footsteps. Watch the sun sets over a rusty forest... or over a lake covered with fallen leaves... Just walk, hand in hand.... sunny or rainy....



Yes, I'm nostalgic... melancholic... or call me romantic... But I think Autumn is a great time to enjoy small and simple things. It's a great time to remember that everything is ephemeral and we should pay more attention to everything. With that nature last struggle we should realize that life is just too short for any regrets, envy, hate or false values.

"Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower." - Albert Camus

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Species

Friendship without trust in just like a lily without perfume.

Yeah... I know, most of the time I'm on the men's side but.... I think it's about time to talk a little bit about the other species : MAN.

Why do I hold against women? Well, usually because I am one, and because of us, men treats us as they do. They figure, if it works with one, they can try with the next one...and the next one, and so on. Because of that mentality, we are all in the same pot of stew. So are men. Guys don't forget, that exactly the way you think : "I'm not like the other jerks around"or "All women are the same.", we tend to do the same. The fact is, that yes, as a species we have things in common, but never an individual is identical with another one - mind, body, spirit.

"All men are pigs." - Hell ya, guys, no offence, but you are. And is not because of you. It's because of your "hunter" instinct and some other damages in the brain. You tend to simplify things, we complicate them. The main cause in that statement is actually women's fault for forgiving anything. I had a couple of discussions about that with many men and very few of them are actually appreciating woman, as a human being. The fault for what's going on in today's world is on both sides. Men think if two or three are acting the same, all of us out there are the same. Women think if a man went cheating, all will do the same. (99.9% of you out there, do it), so do women. But why?

One of the reasons : Women take away the "hunting" spirit of the man, by giving them everything, any time they want. That's women's fear of being dumped : "If I don't, he will go some place else". For some time, will work, but men will get bored at some point and because they are a pack animal, they need to prove themselves better. They need to be reassured that they can still hunt. They need to constantly prove themselves in the pack. They suffer from "youth nostalgia"... Are they still in shape to pick up a 20 years old girl? And if they do... can go further? And if a man can do that, he will think that his woman is doing the same or vice - versa! When it comes to women.... Since men has no interest in "proving" himself in front of his woman - HE ALREADY RECEIVES WHAT HE WANTS UNCONDITIONALLY, flowers will stop coming, compliments will stop, sweet little gestures will disappear like they were just a nice dream... Woman will slide down to depression, looking herself in the mirror more and more and  will become absolutely depressed when she finds another wrinkle or more cellulite - NORMAL THINGS FOR AGING...  And as soon as someone else will tell her how beautiful she looks today, she will melt down like snow in the Spring. Conclusion : EVERYBODY NEEDS REASSURANCE! But instead of trying to find that in the person next to us, we're looking forward and trow away what we have. We forget the reasons that we were there in the first place. We can't see the good parts anymore. We only see mistakes and we judge them, without looking at ourselves and realizing that every gesture that we make it affects the other persons behavior... we stopped caring about that. We become lazy and stop communicating. We loose courage. We loose the courage to love. To love means to overcome the fear of being completely vulnerable in front of the other person. We lose the courage to be friends with the person next to us, and we treat her/him as a property or as a potential danger.
The guilt is on both sides of the camp. Women are too indulgent. Men just do whatever the fuck they want because we indulge that. And VICE-VERSA! It works both ways.
A very good friend of mine told me, in a discussion last night, that the only fault is upon men. His statement was... "We, as men had created the behavior of modern women.... If we fuck up, we go home and ask for apologize accompanied with something that he know the woman in cause will never refuse.... "Honey, isn't it that you will forgive me if I buy you that nice dress that you admired last week and we go for a week-end in Paris?" - more or less. Women are weak are guess what.... Women will forgive. And the story will go on and on....

Don't tell me that you're not MANIPULATIVE BASTARDS, sometimes even more than women are.

My mother has a very interesting and unorthodox saying about men's behavior : "Undress cause I wanna fuck you, get dressed cause I don't wanna fuck you..." You know what, she is so dam right. Can you make up your mind????
Women dreamed of being equal with men. They always failed. We can't be equal. We think and act different. When you as a woman act the way you are - maybe a bit fucked up or just different by nature - at first you are appreciated... then your man tells you, pissed off, that he would like for you to act like an equal...You try to understand what he wants and try to act like it... then he's pissed off, cause you just have to have a reason behind that changed behavior, you have a plan.... Is it so dam hard to believe that a woman can be in love? Is it so dam hard to believe that a woman can love another human being??? That she can actually care about someone else?

Usually men feel guilt only after they done something really really bad, except that, they will found an excuse for everything that is "not normal" in their behavior : "I'm tired", "I'm stressed", "It's your fault".Women will forgive and try to understand them instead of getting pissed off and punish them. He has been a jerk, cut the dam access to his happiness, be pissed off. Men don't understand the meaning of guilt until they are persecuted. And if they don't... why should women? Right?.... He will be rude and hurt her, she might get angry and scream at him or will slide doors. The problem is that in a half of hour, she will come back and hug him.... And what does the idiot do? He will push her away and overwhelm her with HIS guilt of being a total asshole. It's her fault... STAY PISSED OFF! We allow men to offend us and because we are the "good christian" we turn the other cheek for some more. They will eventually come to their minds, and will fuck up again... Will makes us hurt, will offend us, they will cheat, they will act like they know best : HEY! The MAN is the HEAD of the family, right? Does that gives him the right to be a total asshole???

Because of today's generation, women have no value in the eyes of men. We are just a piece of meat, that they can do whatever the hell they want with. It's our fault, we allow them.

We love and we indulge them to hurt us, because HEY! the Bible says, we HAVE to forgive. We HAVE to turn the other cheek for some more shit...

Women has become nothing more than MEN's PROPERTY! Men's toy. A thrown away boring toy. Men will be boys forever. No matter how successful they are, how they managed to "rise from the ashes", how they manage to build an entire empire...they will run away eating the dust behind them when it comes to be responsible with the woman they CHOOSE as a companion. They will always found guilt in her, and none in them. They prefer to look at her as a POTENTIAL DANGER than to be loving and understanding like she is with them. Guys.... COWARD is the best way to describe you. What's the point of fighting to understand something when you can just walk away, more easily?? Oh! I forgot! You've been deceived before by so many women.... Really? And we never had.... Most of you think you know how to love a woman.... The truth is you do so, just to a point. Just to that point where it can become dangerous for you. You test her over and over again, and never have a satisfactory response. You love her just to the point when she can hurt you.... The real problem is, that you are too cowardly to go all the way. It's hard to overwhelm the fear that you are completely vulnerable in front of her. What's the point? You can get hurt, right? Let's go back and live in the virtual world, where no one looks deep into your eyes, and where anybody can be and do anything they want. That's such a beautiful lie! Life, sorry for misspelling....  Mainly because you don't have to take chances, you don't have to risk. It's more comfortable to know that you are the only one who can make mistakes. It's more comfortable living in that TORTOISESHELL.

Talking about love with a friend... "You can just love, POINT! There are many forms of love, but all have the same meaning. Most of the people only give in order to receive. That's not love, that's a CHARADE.I am thankful  that I can love even though I suffer, but I'm in peace with myself that I feel something. It means I'M ALIVE! It means I don't just cover the Earth with another shadow..."

Guys you have the false impression that giving your woman a comfortable life is enough. Is not. We can get that for ourselves, one way or the other. You think that if you give her something, you owe her. You can do whatever the hell you want with her. She just owe you that. You can hurt her, you can offend her, you can blame her for things that she did not do...just because you are suspicious, in fact you need REASSURANCE. In fact you are just afraid of being hurt! You are insecure as the spring weather, and all that she can do is beg for your forgiveness and wait for your "loving" arms to hold her again. Because women are used to be comfortable, they will take your shit and go on in a pathetic life.
The thing is, guys you have to MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!! Trust in the woman besides you, it'a a RISK, I agree, but it goes both ways (why your woman should trust in you??? You're just another man and she had too, been hurt before), or what your pack says? I know you have to prove them that you are THE BOSS! YOU ARE THE MAN!... She's just another heartless bitch that wants to hurt and use you...

You are the love of my life... TODAY! Tomorrow she will put the coffee pot in a different place, and she'll become whatever the man's suspicious mind will want to believe.... Today in Heaven - Tomorrow straight to HELL.

"Undress cause I wanna fuck you.... Get dressed cause I don't wanna fuck you anymore"???

"Love endure more easily absence or death than suspicion or betray." - André Mourois - Climat