Going back to... hell

Mini vacanta mea acasa, pe meleagurile copilariei... se cam incheie aici. La ora 22:42, trenul Rapid cu directia Bucuresti Nord, pleaca din Resita Nord, de la linia 1....
Ma intorc la ale mele... Oricat de trista si inraita imi pare Resita, tot aici e acasa... Tot aici am familia... Si cu toate astea, nu pot sa-mi las mama singura de Craciun. Ma voi intoarce in Bucuresti, la ale mele, la o viata traita in viteza, stres si munca... Sper eu sa fi reusit sa-mi incarc bateriile macar pentru cateva luni... Sper ca dragostea ce mi-a fost impartasita aici, sa-mi tina de cald macar pana la primavara...

Resita....

Bucurie si dezamagire



Iata ca au trecut deja cateva zile de cand am venit acasa… Mergeam zilele trecute pe strada si cred ca aproape oricine m-ar fi privit cu atentie ar fi citit in ochii mei suficienta dezamagire… Un oras frumos, acoperit de zapada… lume pe strazi… Incercam sa recunosc pe cineva sa pot spune: “Ceau! Ce mai faci? Hai sa bem o cafea!”… Nimeni… Lume trista si inraita de traiul asta greu… Totul gri… Griji ce aproape ca te patrund privind in ochii lor, fara a scoate un cuvant… Joi seara am iesit putin cu un unchi de-al meu, la un pahar de whisky, si am avut marea bucurie sa ma intalnesc cu 2 dintre aceia alaturi de care copilaria mea a fost una plina de aventuri…
Resita – Clubul JAR – o bodega, din toate punctele de vedere. Pereti imbracati in lemn, busteni cumva imblanziti si transformati in mese si scaune. Felinare cu becuri rosii…. FUM… Un fum gros si inecacios chiar si pentru mine, care sudez tigarile… O mana de folkisti, ce te trimiteau cu gandul cumva spre taberele de la munte… Miros de vin fiert… O mana de oameni - suficienti de altfel- pentru a umple un local de genul… O atmosfera destul de placuta, in ciuda tuturor lipsurilor… Gandurile mi-au fost brusc intrerupte de o fata extrem de cunoscuta… Kamil, vecinul meu din copilarie, cel fara de care nu-mi amintesc sa fi trecut o zi. Un sentiment ciudat de bucurie si de nostalgie in acelasi timp, m-au imbratisat. Apoi, prietenul lui Piti, care a aparut in peisajul nostru, ceva mai traziu, e drept… Ma uitam la ei, si nu-mi venea sa cred cat de mult au crescut. Nu stiu de ce, dar parca imi doream sa-i intalnesc si sa-i gasesc la fel, ca atunci cand am plecat de-acasa… Timpul, in schimb, nu cruta pe nimeni… Iata-ma in fata unor tineri, maturizati, inalti, frumosi… Am planuit in acea seara sa adunam pe cat de multi putem si sa ne intalnim cu totii la un pahar, sa depanam amintiri…



Gata, au trecut vremurile noastre in care radeam fara grija... Fiecare le avem pe ale noastre, greutati, slujbe, probleme...
Desi cate o seara acasa, in compania lor, e binevenita mai intotdeauna... Am stat a doua noapte cu Kamil, Piti, Marcus si Flavius... Dupa un pahar ne-am intins la povesti... Si acum parca inca ma dor falcile... Nu stiu cand a trecut noaptea... Am depanat amintiri cu o pofta nebuna... Parca mi-am mai incarcat bateriile, sper eu macar pentru cateva luni... :)

Finally HOME!

For more than a year and a half, I struggle to get home, in Resita. How life did took different turns, at least last year, I didn't hit the road when I would liked to. As all tend to go crazy, for a few months now, I decided to give up all the stress and to go home to my grandmother, to relax, loose my brain damage, to eat and sleep (I so need some extra pounds). :)



The so called Holiday has not started as everyone would liked, but I'm sure it would end much better. We left Bucharest on Monday night. I dropped the idea of leaving by train, cause I got the opportunity to save some bucks. I chose to go on the road, with a good friend of mine, with a van full of merchandise and a detour through the country. Nothing extraordinary, on the contrary, a good opportunity to see something else in this little country, our Romania. Lots of cappuccino (I can not let my relationship with coffee to get cold even on the road ...), stories, good music in the background. Olt Valley, Sibiu ... ... ... Snow looked like it was through fairytale landscapes, I did fall asleep from time to time ... Sibiu - Petrosani.... Andersen fairy scenery. Hamlets with houses covered in snow ... smoke rising from the chimneys of houses, like in the drawings of children's books. Shaking snow out of clouds, puffy as if I lived in a beautiful film that illustrated the Christmas Eve ... Almost expecting to see something like Santa Claus with sleigh and reindeer, somewhere on the horizon ...
Although we were supposed to go from Petrosani to Timisoara,and then Resita , plans had changed and went straight to Resita. I did fall asleep somewhere between Otelul Rosu and Caransebes. At once I heard Sorin (the second driver) voice like I was dreaming, "screaming in a whisper"... a voice easy desperate or scared. "Aoleuuu" ... I opened my eyes and I felt the van dancing on the road... Suddenly all the merchandise in the back was "dancing" with the van... Than everything began to fly and fall all over us... In a split second I saw a pile of mud covered with snow ... and I managed to think ... "FUCK!! This is it s !....." then the hit. I closed my eyes and I heard "Cassie". I felt a hand reaching for my head. Although it happened in seconds ... I honestly say that those were too long ... The van remained stuck in a ditch rather high, on the opposite side of the road ... with the muzzle in the direction from where we came from... I went out trembling like a leaf in the wind deh!! Adrenaline always tells its word ... in less than a minute, I found that I'm ok and I suddenly I needed to smoke a cigarette. It was quiet then ... but in a few moments my phone started to ring. Recognizing the tone ... I yelled "SHITT ... MUM!" ... I didn't said anything to her, I was afraid not to worry her for nothing. I do believe that between us there's a kind of telepathy. Every time I feel bad or wrong, she simply calls me, and since her confession, vice versa.

People here ... WOW! If they would be the same all over, it will be a slight better world! I think there was no car that didn't stop to ask if we needed anything,if we're ok... The traffic police enforcement were great (if someone can believe that), they showed me a restaurant, a few hundred meters from the scene, and told us to go there, for some hot tea, and to keep ourself warm. After about two cups of tea, I began to feel the blows on my feet and head. Indeed I have found a broken fingernail. All in all though, thank God I got away only with that, all of us. A bad day in which almost everything goes wrong, when nothing can be connected. One of those days when you better not get up from bed.



After about 7 hours of waiting in the restaurant, I discovered, thanks to another friend, that I can go home right away by train ... The "Train of Horrors" as we used to name it in the past. Caransebes - Resita, 50 Km of horror... usually stuffed with peasants with bags full of everything for the market, smelling like animals, unwashed, Stinking ... always cold like ice, or dieing of heat in the summer ... And last but not least the 40 or 50 kilometers made in about an hour ... This time, however, for the first time that day, something was going well ...

The train was empty and it was warm! ... I was telling to myself... the same time on the road ... but then I'll get to my grandmother's house and be greeted with love and hot tea as in my childhood days when I get back from sledging ... To my great surprise I found Resita exactly as I remember ... the only disappointing aspect was the quiet on the streets. Even if it was midnight, in the days when we were kids, I doubt that someone will be sleeping peacefully in the early evenings with perfect good snow for sled ...

Yet with all that happened ... I could say that I was finally HOME!, Resita, to my grandmother always loving, to my family that I terribly missed... That HOME which I always dream at and I will always miss ...


.

In sfarsit CAFEA

M-am dezmeticit undeva pe parcursul zilei de duminica cu o febra si niste frisoane ce n-am mai avut de ceva ani, respectiv vreo 6. Zic, eh, poate reusesc s-o fentez de data asta cu o baie fierbinte, un ceai cald cu lamaie si -o aspirina.... In prima faza, am si reusit dar doar pentru un interval relativ scurt, respectiv vreo 2 ore. Au urmat cateva zile de cosmar... Febra, dureri de cap, frisoane, dureri de ureche, de gat, gat imflamat si toate cele aferente... Doar gandul ca trebuia sa-mi iau pastilele ma ingrozea. Orice inghititura a fost ca un pumn de aschii fine indesate pe gatlejul meu... Wow... 3 zile fara cafea... I-am dus dorul! Cam atat pot spune.

Mereu imi aduceam aminte de acei acum 6 ani cand am fugit impreuna cu Raluca, la Piatra Neamt, sa ne petrecem Craciunul cu niste oarecum necunoscuti, doar de dragul aventurii. Si a fost o aventura pe care ma indoiesc ca vreuna din noi s-o uite prea repede... Mai ales ce-a urmat. Un Revelion, in 2 (eu si Raluca), eu bolnavul pe patul de moarte, Raluca asistenta mea personala... Doar bunica, saraca de ea, a mai rezistat atat de eroic langa mine, in astfel de momente... Slava cerului ca exista prieteni si DISNEY!!!!



Iata ca deja e joi, si spre marea mea bucurie, ma simt mult mai bine. Ma voi duce sa joc darts, cu toate ca poate inca n-ar trebui sa ies din casa, cu otita mea cu tot, dar daca mai stau o zi incuiata aici.... innebunesc de tot!

Coffee, Sir!

After a few days at least strange, I refreshed a little ... Coffee flavor, has the gift to do that sometimes .... Me and coffee, how to say ... we have a relationship ... even a love relationship, I would say ... I do not know if I could replace the morning coffee with something ... and do not want to! It's indispensable ... I confess that a little earlier in a conversation on messenger with a friend ... after telling me "Nice idea with the chestnut flour pavement idea ...... if I saw it right" - talking about the image of my new blog .... I smile and suddenly I woke up .... Chestnuts?? Are you crazy? It's COFFEE! Coffee beans! :)

Not even if I'll drink 100 coffees per day, I won't be able to get bored of this habit ... We.... we have a special relationship .... conditioned only by the loving flavor! :)



A delicious coffee .... Quality music and the day can have a better morning... ;)
Enjoy your coffee!

What a day

What a rain ... I still have a headache from wine, vodka and last night's shots. A strange evening. I struggled to sleep, but I didn't too much. I think I'm still thinking of a sea of stuff ... It's raining, and this rain is not that good for me, especially when I'm a little afraid to look back too suddenly: it's called hangover! :)
I would like to hear this rain in another context. Probably in the arms of a man who can make me feel less depressed but otherwise anyway ... You'll say that the time when I will like even the rain will come... I just hope it will come sooner ... Loneliness overwhelms me at this moment. Today is a day when I really don't feel the need to be alone ... and if I am, let me drown in my own river of tears. It makes me feel better ...
They say that your not human until the suffering, if you don't feel it, you will not be able to love. We all learn how to suffer, huh?

New ME

Well well well....




Let's recap .... Who is Cassie?



One of those girls whom friends always say: "Stop caring that much!"
A moody person that believes in love, forever. I love cats, and even more than loving them I have a cat tattoo. I love art in all its forms. I grew up around people of quality, and I thank them all. Everyone can envy me for my mother and the life that she offered to me ... My greatest satisfaction is to see others smile, and to know I had contributed, at least, to that smile... A person ... People tell me pretty often that I was born too late, in the wrong century. I am changing as the wind blows, I recognize it, but there are people who understand me and even accept me. I thank them.
I like to sit at a "glass of chat" with every chance I get. I like to eat something good, even though people ask me: "But do YOU eat, ever?" - Yes, I like to spoil my senses and I'm a slow eater. I believe that in another life I was somehow a kind of cat. I hardly can be "trained" by someone. I like doing things the way I want, when I feel it. Maybe too rebellious, maybe I can be too negative at some times, or a bit too nervous for sure, most of the times ... However, my ideal in life is... love, above all.

I hate mornings unless there are exceptional cases ... I like to drink my coffee in front of my laptop, listening to music and relax ... And to have another coffee ... I was born at midnight, in conclusion, my biological clock is set, so to speak ... Some tell me "bird of the night" ... Yes, that's fine. Also cats are more energetic at night :P .I like to be surrounded by friends, cooking for them ... Sometimes I love to be alone and being left alone. Do not ask "What?" or "What's wrong?"... I hate to tell my problems unless I feel I can not share the negative vibrations ... Maybe I lament ... I do not like to be pushed... just let me be ME, the way I feel. If you want, accept me as I am. Do not try to change me.

I like to relax ... music is my therapy for everything.