Autumn leaves

It was the first morning when she felt the autumn breath upon her face.

The yellow carpet underneath her feet, from previous years doesn't look like the one she knows. Cold small rain drops are kissing her face but she's not bothered by them. She's not sure what to feel. Her mind is in ten different places and nowhere exactly.

She's walking fast apparently knowing where but inside her there is no destination. She's lost in her thoughts. She's fighting a battle between belief and doubt. She wishes that she could just stop thinking. She wishes that she could trust him but everything that she sees and feels is pushing her towards disbelief rather than anything else.

The train arrived and for the first time in that morning she looked at her watch. She's still gonna get to work in time, although for the first time she doesn't care too much about it. Her head is like lead and her eyes are stinging her.

She gets out the subway station. She's close to work and no matter what she can't stop thinking at him. She feels stupid, lied, cheated, frustrated...empty.

She feels like everything that was important to her is now just a distant memory and no matter how hard she tries she can't touch it.

Why does she feel so bad?Why she feels she has no meaning in his life anymore? 

She wants to cry.... to scream, but before she knows it, she's in front of the door of the Coffee shop.

Her work colleague is smiling at her and asks her something that she replies automatically.

With her heart broken she gets to the newspaper stand and chats a little with the friendly sales man while choosing her usual papers. 

The minutes refuse to pass. She drinks her coffee without noticing that she forgot to put sugar in it. 

A few autumn leaves are dancing in the street and she's watching them through the big glass walls. 

What if she's wrong? most worrying question is.... What if she's right? as she was before? Her entire past flies in front of her eyes.... Every time she had a feeling like this one.... she was right about it.... Tears are blocking her eyes.

With her heart broken she tries to keep the smiley appearance.... to get on with the day and just get home to crush in the empty bed. 

Why would he take that away from her? Why would he give it to somebody else unless.... indeed, she's not the special one in his life anymore.

Broken heart....

Broken wings....

Autumn leaves....

Lies....

Loneliness....

Emptiness....

Bounded by Fado

                                         

At Sunday night’s concert the audience from Bucharest’s Radio Hall vibrated on Fado notes under the spell of Dulce Pontes incredible voice and talent.

Maria Gheorghiu, the only folk singer in Romania who sings Fado was between the spectators of a magical evening. She made a cover after “Cancao do Mar” and Dulce Pontes found out about the artistic act, six years ago, through a friend. Dulce sent her appreciations to Maria by e-mail telling her that she has a “fatidic and kind voice, with a round Portuguese accent” and that she can sing Fado with great success. “I am thrilled that we meet under the same Sun. I thank you for taking a part of me and I’m ashamed that I could not be the first to offer it to you” she told Maria.

The two singers meet back stage and bounded a unique friendship sealed with a hug.

“I was waiting for the meeting with Dulce like a lost traveller in the desert waiting to drink water”, Maria confessed. “I needed to see her, to hear Dulce sing and look into her eyes. I needed for her to see how much I appreciate what she offered to me when I first heard her sing. It’s impossible to listen to Dulce and not wish to become better. It’s impossible not to be touched in the depth of your soul by the generosity with which she offers her heart, that generosity that just great spirits still have it”.

It was an evening; it was a meeting that Maria will never forget. For an hour and a half, she studied Dulce Pontes and she let herself to enter in a world beyond her imagination.

“I saw her playing on the stage; I saw her transforming at every song…. For an hour and a half I lived outside the exterior world, fascinated by hers. The world could have just collapse around me, the walls of the Radio Hall could have cave in while she was singing and I wouldn’t have seen anything, because it was no room for anything else to be seen. Dulce Pontes, I thank you for teaching me how to love the Sea singing Cancao do Mar, I thank you for teaching me how to love and understand Fado , I thank you for the music of the world, which now because of you, matches my world too!”  

                                                                                       

                                                               Maria – Cassandra Modoaca