It was the first morning when she felt the autumn breath upon her face.
The yellow carpet underneath her feet, from previous years doesn't look like the one she knows. Cold small rain drops are kissing her face but she's not bothered by them. She's not sure what to feel. Her mind is in ten different places and nowhere exactly.
She's walking fast apparently knowing where but inside her there is no destination. She's lost in her thoughts. She's fighting a battle between belief and doubt. She wishes that she could just stop thinking. She wishes that she could trust him but everything that she sees and feels is pushing her towards disbelief rather than anything else.
The train arrived and for the first time in that morning she looked at her watch. She's still gonna get to work in time, although for the first time she doesn't care too much about it. Her head is like lead and her eyes are stinging her.
She gets out the subway station. She's close to work and no matter what she can't stop thinking at him. She feels stupid, lied, cheated, frustrated...empty.
She feels like everything that was important to her is now just a distant memory and no matter how hard she tries she can't touch it.
Why does she feel so bad?Why she feels she has no meaning in his life anymore?
She wants to cry.... to scream, but before she knows it, she's in front of the door of the Coffee shop.
Her work colleague is smiling at her and asks her something that she replies automatically.
With her heart broken she gets to the newspaper stand and chats a little with the friendly sales man while choosing her usual papers.
The minutes refuse to pass. She drinks her coffee without noticing that she forgot to put sugar in it.
A few autumn leaves are dancing in the street and she's watching them through the big glass walls.
What if she's wrong? most worrying question is.... What if she's right? as she was before? Her entire past flies in front of her eyes.... Every time she had a feeling like this one.... she was right about it.... Tears are blocking her eyes.
With her heart broken she tries to keep the smiley appearance.... to get on with the day and just get home to crush in the empty bed.
Why would he take that away from her? Why would he give it to somebody else unless.... indeed, she's not the special one in his life anymore.
Broken heart....
Broken wings....
Autumn leaves....
Lies....
Loneliness....
Emptiness....
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