Saturday, June 4, 2011

Eternal and fascinating Romania

I was talking earlier about the education of being SELFISH in Romania... We love it! We grew up with it! and the worse is that we are really PROUD of it!

And let me tell you where you can see that better than anywhere else... EVERYWHERE you look around in Romania... especially when you try to drive...
If you wanna see this Forgotten Land... please read this CIRCULATION RULES, really careful, they might come in handy... Very!

1. THERE ARE NO RULES!
2. You must never talk about the fact that there are no rules!
3. Every free portion of asphalt is an ideal parking place, WHO CARES that there is actually a garage, the middle of an intersection or tram line... It's completely irrelevant! Please be aware of that!
4. Anybody can find himself a "paid parking space" as long you're the first to write your plate number on the asphalt and pun a fence around it!
5. Here the rule of "priority of right way" doesn't apply... or left...or middle... Priority always has the one who has the bigger car, or more expensive, or a bigger BAT in the trunk!
6. The road signs are just part of the city landscape... and they addresses only those who fear GOD, or death or those who are poor enough not to bribe the policeman... They will always stop you and found something going wrong, just so you can give them "some attention" - A.K.A. money!
7. NO ONE drives as good as romanians do! If you found yourself driving around, and someone horns you, look to your right, they will have the window half down, overcoming you, looking to you, just so you know, they are the "KINGS of the roads" here... It's just an attempt to intimidation!
8. In the rest of the time, blowing horns here, is just a sign of appreciation between two drivers, saluting each other... knowing that the other one had recognize his car and really like him - A.K.A it's a "powerful" friend that they will need some day - everybody has to know that, knowing people is very important! And they HAVE to show off that!
9. The lanes are just a design on the roads, or they are there just for cyclists, what other man in his right mind would drive between two parallel lines????
10. The real signification of the colors of the traffic lights are....:
a. RED - Generally you should stop but the rule is also break by the ambulance, firefighters and police cars, young drivers between 18-21 years old, those who don't have a driver licence but still drive, those who are too bored to wait, those who have powerful cars and nothing can ever happen to them... and let's not forget about politicians and drunk people who had just one beer - NEVER BELIEVE THEM - usually one beer can also mean A BARREL of beer!
b. YELLOW - Generally you can go on, especially if you have 200 km/h and you're driving a fancy expensive car!
c. GREEN - You go on, but only if you want, you can also take a short nap... of course on your own responsibilities, if you don't leave in 10 seconds since the green light.... you have to be prepared for consequences.
11. Cars with flashing are not in a real hurry... Except for picking up the pizza order... Why should anyone have a pizza when you're stuck in traffic jam??? THEY SHALL NOT PASS!!!
12. Women can't tell the difference between right or left so doesn't really matter witch hand you use to signal an "error"...
13. Stickers with fire balls, crosses hanging from the mirrors and any other "traditional stuff" A.K.A - kitch - are increasing the personality of the car... and someday maybe even the chances to get priority...
13 and 1/2 - You can never have too many "traditional stuff" hanged in your car....
14. Absolute any pedestrian is a idiot and have no idea what they want from their lives... Never mind them!
15. During the summer when is really hot outside it's "a MUST" to drive around really slow, with all your car windows down, the air conditioning to the lowest temperature possible and with the music volume at maximum... Oh, almost forgot - you should listen to some crap RAP or the traditional MANELE music.
16. The car mirrors are just some things where you should hang your crosses and other things... NO ONE use them! Same with signals, WHO ACTUALLY WHATS TO KNOW WHEN YOU SWITCH DIRECTIONS????
17. Any traffic conflict can be solved "friendly" with some guns, knives and a "little help from my friends" called in with the help of the most complicated mobile phone you'll ever see....
18. The tram lines are actually some secret acceleration tracks....
19. Everybody who says that they are the perfect disciplined driver in traffic... you will find them blocking most of the intersections...
20. The buss station are the ideal parking space especially during rainy days, cause they have cover...
21. Any damage made to the car, during driving, will be report to the police, with the typical excuse: " This is how I found it, this morning in the parking space..."
22. Any traffic jam is happening only from the guilt of the City Hall witch is unable to proper administrate city roads....
23. Anybody who don't agree with those rules is a female or a pedestrian or just shouldn't be in Romania.....


To be continued.....


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