Another ugly night had come... I found myself somewhere between a smile and a tear. Can't make up my mind if I should cry or smile.
Love comes and goes... Heartbreaks are always around, God forbid to miss them.
I found myself, at this late hour, listening to Vangelis, hoping that he could clear my brain, my thoughts...
A broken heart is hard to heal, but sometimes, you think that you had did it... You meet somebody else... You feel something, but you're too afraid to admit it, because you're afraid of being hurt again, you're afraid to be happy because you know you have to pay a price for it, eventually. You try to let go. You're telling to yourself: "Carpe Diem" in every second, and in most of the time you manage to do it.
You feel that you are doing good, that you are standing on your feet, when... in just a couple of moments, everything is going under... everything in sinking around you... You see a familiar face, hear that voice... butterflies in your stomach, your heart is beating faster and faster and when you feel that hug, from that love that shuttered your heart in so many pieces, you simply don't know what to do. Your body says something, your brain something else. What to do?
You hear apologizes, you see some kind of pain in those eyes... and you start to wonder... Does it worth it? Another "second chance"... yet again. Your body screams yes... But for the first time, in a long time, you listen to your brain. You feel good, but sad. After a couples of hours, you feel like you did make the wrong decision, but you know is the good one, or maybe is just the wine... Than... why? Why do you feel miserable? You think at that hug and you cry... and then think at the other one, the one that you are somehow grateful for showing you that you worth more, that you deserve more... and smile... and than a tear is sweeping your face... and another smile...
Don't know what to feel... to smile? to cry?
Here I am, in the middle of the night smiling and crying... being sad and feeling lonely, but in the same time, knowing that someone else misses me, maybe... and smile and feel a little better, for a couple of moments...
I don't wanna make anybody suffer... but I don't want to suffer anymore!
Why do I care that much?
That somebody else made you happy, made you feel great and then... why are you so afraid?
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