No matter where you will ever try to hide. No matter from who you want to hide. There is one single thing in this world that you would never manage to hide from. And that is your past.
I remember a couple of years ago, when I got my first job, my friend's mum kinda made go to a seminary. ( It was something like : "Go or find another job"... at 17... pretty hard choice). The main thing that was discuss over there, in two and a half days, was accepting your past as a part of yourself. Anything that happened in your life happened with a purpose. You learned something. Everything is an experience that shapes your personality. Good or bad, you have to accept them and even be thankful for them. If things were slightly different, you wouldn't be who you are. "Be true" with those in your life. And learn how to listen.
In order to gain power to get through life, you have to, first, accept that life is short, and keeping against other people, won't help you at all. You have to stop caring around rocks around your neck. You have to be true with yourself and those that are part of your life.
The first exercise that we had to do, I remember was... "Take your phones, we're going to have a 30 min break. In this break I want all of you to call the first person that comes through your mind, and tell that person your feelings. Call your mothers and tell them that you love them." I can't forget that image... 50 maybe 60 people spread around the garden of the hotel where we were, talking on phones... Yes! I was one of them. I called my mother and my grandmother... I wished I could called my father too.... I hugged my friends which were with me then, Raluca - she still is an important part of my life and I thank her for that, Sharon and Diana.
Words, maybe, are not reliable. But being true, it's all that matters. Time teaches us, that the truth is the only wonderful thing in life. At least it should! Lies will only compels us more than any truth ever.
I guess that what I'm trying to say is that I really got to that point when I realised, that I can not run away from my past. I always try to accept that everything that ever happened to me, happened with a reason... It did made me, the way I am today. With all that effort, there were things that I just wanted to forget. And for many years, maybe I managed to. At least I had the power not to think of them.... Life can make people change. As we grow older we're realising what we had, what we missed... what we lost. I guess.
No matter how hard I tried to forget... It all came back to me. My past hunting me. My dreams. There are things that I did not accept and now I look at them and I see a pile of garbage hidden under the carpet...
"It's easier to be wise for others, than for yourself."
I know I still have a lot to learn. I know. But, hey! I've been on this Earth only for almost 26 years...
I'm still just a baby and the world is my playground... We all are.
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