Personal touch

I always said I’m not a normal person, if I judge myself from the “mob” side of view. And I’m very happy and proud of the fact that I didn’t give myself for the false values that everybody seems to appreciate that much. A couple of days ago, somethings made me realize that, more than ever.

Big concert in the centre of the city that I’m living in. The “Big City” that I had always hated. The city that I still hate. Sitting on a terrace, some might say luxurious with the worse service I had ever seen, at a crowded table, with people that I never seen in my life. The one that matters, next to me. I look around and all I can see are fake smiles. Fake attitude, fake nails, fake hair and so on. Everything I’m looking at is actually fake. Even those around us are so. Everybody’s trying to be something that some cover of some idiotic magazine promotes. Everybody wants to be and act like they are important. Being popular it’s all that matters. And in order to be popular here, there are some rules. The society (so called) lives up to those rules, and don’t care about anything else that is surrounding.

First of all, your IMAGE  is everything! OK, that has been around us since the beginning of all times, and it goes around especially for women.I am a woman too, and I like to take care of myself, of my nails, skin and so on. I like to put a little make-up on in order to “show off” my eyes. I love to wear a nice dress or a pair of jeans with a “sophisticated” top. I like to feel clean and be admired. But I also want to be ME. The most important thing in whole wide world, everybody had forgotten: BEING YOU!  And especially here, people actually love to be the puppets of the mass media. They act, dress, eat, probably even sleep and THINK the way others are telling them to do so. Everybody seems to lose the contact with them selves and of course with the reality. The level of stupidity has gone so far that I can’t see any borders. The most upsetting thing for me (and a few other good fellows) is the fact that humanity seems to love to be that stupid. Nobody cares anymore than just aligning to the masses.

It just doesn’t matter if you are poor and have rent to pay, a crap job with a crap salary, or still living with your parents and squeeze their wallets… You have to wear the latest fashion, you have to drive a fancy car – with money borrowed for fuel in most cases, you have to cover yourself in cosmetics and destroy your body and health with wrong food and lots of drinks.And guys, what the fuck's wrong with you? You spend more time in the mirror than I do!Looking "macho" is not gonna make you man, especially when you have no idea of how much is 14,7 + 3 (I actually saw that!!!) and you have to take out your latest mobile to do the math! Please stop straining your muscles gain by steroids, you are SO DISGUSTING!

Girls, you just have go to a beauty salon at least once a week even for the simplest things that you could do yourself in order to keep in touch with your body and mind. Yeah! Be BEAUTIFUL! Cause that seems to be the only thing that matters in this world. The biggest problem is that the beauty that you consider to have is just a passing one and it’s connected only with your skin. In order to be beautiful you have to take care for your mind, also. Use your brain, or it will DIE, in case that didn’t happen already. You are unable to think for yourself because you don’t want to! You reach that top line of pathetic and stupidity because you choose to do so.

Being on that terrace, surrounded by people that I will never like, forcing myself to be polite and don’t start talking –I know that when I say what I have to say, it can get messy, very messy, I saw some scenes that made me laugh. I tried not to, but… Picture this scene…

She and him. She is uncomfortable with his friends around, only because she doesn’t get the attention that she wants and thinks that she deserves. (To want something here is equal to have to get it, especially for women – no matter what!) He looks uncomfortable with her around because he knows she will make a scene soon or they will have an argument later on. She’s trying to show him her “love” by ‘taking” care of her man. Feeding him from her salad, for example… She only does that to get attention, from him and the “approval” of his friends… Nothing is natural. The tension grows when he’s having a chat with his friend and so on… If you are unable to understand that everybody needs their own SPACE, from time to time, especially when MR.Stress is around... you have a HUGE problem!

I’m looking around at people and study them because I know I can write about those things, and I like to do it. Maybe I am mean but I love to see how they struggle to be in the centre of attention. Yeah! It makes me feel smart. They are showing me that stupidity won’t stop here, unfortunately. They will continue to be fake and act like somebody else will tell them to... Please DO IT, I will always have something to write about! 

I was having a discussion with a friend about this and he told me that I have to accept it the way it is. I have to disagree once more. I don’t have to accept anything! I don’t need people like those around me, they will make me stupid. I don’t want to meet them; I don’t want to have anything to do with them. Yes, sometimes I am doing it, because they are too many! But I do not want them part of my life. I don’t want to go to some bar and talk about clothes and latest edition of Cosmopolitan, listening to some brutal sound that they call music.

Keeping the distance is actually the only weapon that I can use against today’s society, “the generation in power”. I love to go out and be surrounded by people, but by HUMANS who are using their brains. I love to be around people with who I can have a discussion about literature, music, sky, stars, arts, philosophy, life! I don’t want my life ruled by fashion. I am hungry for knowledge. 

I don’t like to sit at the table at be watch because I don’t dress “properly”. I am who I am, and I don’t want to change that.

 

I have around me some great people that I can learn from, and that’s all that matters.

Some are as weird as I am, loving to see the sky or the clouds in the colors of sunset. Some maybe more, screaming from the top of their lungs of joy when they hit a good score at darts. Some maybe less... But we share good moments and make great memories, we listen to each other and have great discussions about everything else, that many of you out there don't even notice they exist. 

I like to feel! Maybe “I am just a dreamer…” but as long as I believe that I can make it, I can live being myself and I know I will go the distance. It may be harder, but it’s the right way through life, at least for me.

I want to learn, not to forget who I am and what I am!