First lesson

No matter what obstacles you will meet, dear friend, remember that life is not over. It goes only in one direction: forward.

Even if you feel that the whole world collapsed in front and you’re standing on a small cliff looking around in a deep abyss, you have to be aware that you have a contract with life and humanity. You can’t end it when you choose to. There are people that care about you and you cannot afford to be selfish.

Raise your eyes, even if they are tired or cried, raise them and look around you. Nothing had changed, except your perception over the things that are surrounding you.

The only thing that you can do is to accept what happened, understand why it did happened and learn from it.

You have to understand that the only guilt in your disillusions is actually yours and no one else’s.

I had the impression that deception is the only thing that it’s happening to me, but I never dared to look inside myself and understand why. Some of you came and told me: “It is not your fault. He made you suffer; he deceived you and so on…”  And I believed it and moved on with my life, turned the page, but never tried to understand what exactly happened.

Let me tell you that, no matter who you are what nationality you have or where you live, you are the only responsible for your life, decisions and choices. Conclusion: you are the only responsible for your deceptions. How many of us are aware of that?

You will come and say to me: “But he/she betrayed me!” No, my friend, no one betrayed you, except your own mind.

You didn’t look in your own reality or the other person’s, and indulged yourself with the things that made you feel good.

People tell me that this is love. You only see the good things and leave everything else aside, like you’ve been blinded.

Let me remind you that you control your thoughts; your thoughts control your feelings. In the moment that you make the choice of loving and trusting someone, automatic you sign and unseen contract with deception. Why?

Falling in love with someone is the first stage that you get thru and when that euphoric sentiment overwhelms you mind; you tend to attribute perfection to the person in cause. Your mind creates an illusion of something perfect. Things and people are never perfect.

As time gets by, that euphoria disappears and you start to see things that you didn’t saw before. Things that are bothering you and in the same time, scare you. You change your attitude; your feelings are not the same.

You see a different person in front of you and yes, that person usually goes thru the same feelings and questions as you do. In many cases people give up and move on and consume themselves in self-pity: “why did I trust him/her?” find someone else and the story repeats again and again.

When you are in that stage of questioning, you know only one thing: you liked and loved what you saw in the beginning, what you fall in love with. If you are there, you still have feelings. And those feelings can transform themselves in that something that never dies: true love. How to do it is the hard part, but first you have to make sure that you want to do it.

When you decided that you want to, and also have the same response from the other person, you can only do one thing: look at the reality. Balance the good with bad, and learn to accept the bad as it is. What you saw in the beginning is still there; it had never changed, but is not the only thing that exists in a human. Each and every single one of us has the good and the bad in himself. Be willing to make some changes. If you are able to look and accept the other person’s reality and vice-versa, you won one of the most exhausting battles. You can say it out loud: you love the person next to you, and what you have now, will not disappear.