Those freakin' 5 stages

1. Denial.
2. Anger.
3. Bargaining.
4. Depression.
5. Acceptance.

They say that those are the 5 stages of grief. To lose someone doesn't necessarily mean to.... die. And until you heal, the first 4 of those stages will probably mix and you'll pass one of them, you'll come back to another one. For some might take days, weeks, even more. For some can be a question of minutes, hours. We all are unique.

1. DENIAL - No fucking way, this is not happening to me. Things will be OK. Things will sort out. Everybody will see that. He will eventually see that he's wrong.
Nothing makes any sense to us. We become overwhelmed.Our brain is bombed with questions. We try to find a way to go through each day. We are walking bodies with a brain stuck in the world of  "NO". After some time you start to answer yourself to questions and on the way doing that you're feelings denied by then, start to come to surface. You begin to heal.

2. ANGER - Why??? What reasons? Why no one can see? A stage of  mixed feelings. Anger, pain, abandon. With every question that you ask yourself, you feel more and more anger and it feels endless. You start to see things that they were not necessarily there, but you see them and you feel like your blood is boiling every time you think about it. Your heart beats faster, your body is filling with adrenaline. You turn against everybody. You seek for imaginary answers. As anger grows your rationality fades away.

3. BARGAINING - What if???? If only....You try to seek ways to change the situation.Finding a way is all you can think about.
"When there's a will, there's a way" - is the only thing that you see. You don't see that maybe you finding a way, might not be enough.

4. DEPRESSION - Why go on at all? I can't do this... What's the point of going alone??? Emptiness, loneliness, sadness. Missing.
Those sleepless nights, those days with no hunger, no thirst, no will, no purpose. All you do is think at the other person. What you used to do together. How good it was. How happy you used to be. How empty is the bed now. How cold you feel at nights. Food has no taste, or even worse, it makes you sick. You feel lonely, and you don't wanna see anyone. No one else than the one you lost, matters. You can't do anything without missing that someone.

5. ACCEPTANCE - We learn to accept reality. That someone is gone. We are on own now. After the "grief" had it's needed time, we do eventually move on. We start to live again. We start to take control over our own mind and learn to live with our loss.