Non, rien de rien

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,

  Love like you'll never be hurt,
  Sing like there's nobody listening,
 And live like it's heaven on earth.”

Life is never what we expect or want to be. Life is just how we make it. 

I once said that we are nothing else that an endless series of our choices. The facts that you chose to do define you as the human being that you are. 

I chose to let myself go, even if  I knew I might get hurt. I chose to love even if I knew my heart could be broken in pieces again. I made mistakes, I was reckless many times. I didn't stopped to think when I should had. Sometimes  I  chose the easier path, when I felt uncomfortable. I chose to react instead of think. Or think too much when I should had reacted. But on top of all those, I love him with all my heart and never thought there could be someone else to replace him, not even for a second. I felt stupid and hypocrite when I made him feel bad or uncomfortable. I cried countless nights when I knew I made him angry or annoyed...  

I am accused that everything that I do is for me. Maybe it is. I wanted the man next to me because I love him, and many times I acted reckless because I thought is the best way to keep him close to me. I was angry many times, I was frustrated many times.... and made the wrong choice to share them, when I should had let the time to show the truth. When I should had stepped back and look better. I didn't in many occasions.  Even in doubt, instead of looking at the time to show it, I chose to question and look for proofs. I thought telling him what I feel and how, about things, will help or make him think that I am also just human. I thought that when you love someone, you also try to understand that person and accept him/her as they are. 

I've been told that it was something that he liked about me : soul and brain.

Now I have a question...  

Is your soul changing when you make a reckless thing?  Does the way you think changes when make a bad call? 

I've been told that he is different, he showed me in many ways.
"Everything here is about what other people think. I don't give a crap about them."... I actually believed him, but he didn't mean it. The image in other people's eyes, is apparently everything that matters in this world.

I tried to change everything that he told me it's bothering him, I failed over one aspect...

I believed for so long that I can make him happy. 

Now I know... the only way to do that...  is... just to let go.

Unfortunately, love is never enough. 

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” 

- it means you're alive and you are able to feel. It makes you human.

If I regret something is just the fact that, I wasn't good enough.

Non, rien de rien, non je ne regrette rien,

Ni le bien qu’on m’a fait, ni le mal, tout ça m’est bien égal.

Non, rien de rien, non je ne regrette rien.

C’est payé, balayé, oublié, je me fous de passé.

Avec mes souvenirs, j’ai allumé le feu,

Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs, je n’ai plus besoin d’eux.

Balayés les amours avec leurs trémolos,

Balayés pour toujours, je repars à zéro.

Non, rien de rien, non je ne regrette rien,

Ni le bien qu’on m’a fait, ni le mal, tout ça m’est bien égal.

Non, rien de rien, non je ne regrette rien.

C’est payé, balayé, oublié, je me fous de passé.

Car ma vie, car mes joies, aujourd’hui, ça commence avec toï.